I had many possibilities in my mind (Nepal, Montana, Costa Rica, etc.), but they were all just ideas in my head. I hadn't made any travel plans to go to any of those places, nor did I have the time or energy to do so. I just dropped out names of possible adventures in the hopes that it would satisfy my listener's curiosity for the moment.
One day in May, I was alone with my thoughts. I was exhausted from the increasing demands at work and overwhelmed with my impending move. I broke down and asked myself, "What do you want, Melanie? What do you want to do?" The answer came immediately from within.
When I finally allowed myself to let go of the pressure I had put on myself to go have endless, immediate adventures, I saw quickly that what I really wanted was lots and lots of rest. Thus, my sights turned towards home.
I came directly to my parents' house in Pennsylvania when leaving Maryland. My loose plan was to sleep as much as possible, never setting an alarm, and do a lot of exactly what I'm doing right now - sitting on the back porch in my pajamas, writing and reading. Later today, my only plans are to take my nephews to the pool for a couple of hours, and then go see my nephew's baseball game. That's what I'm talking about.
|Hanging out in my back porch "office" on a warm evening|
I also thought spending a little time at home would give me the chance to plan my next adventure. But I've been here for a full week now, and I haven't done a lick of that. I still don't have the desire or energy to do much other than sleep and lie around. And I think that's just fine.
In fact, it's a little funny. I thought that I would be moving so fast from the momentum I had built up at work and the frenzy of moving that I would have a hard time slowing down. I thought I may still be tempted to make long to-do lists and stay busy once I arrived here.
Nope. Not a problem.
My most common activities here have been sleeping, cooking, bird-watching, working in my parents' garden, reading, writing, playing with my nephews, chatting with my parents, and riding my bike around the neighborhood. The only time I've even used my car in the past week was to drive to a yoga and meditation class last night.
|The bird-watching garden|
|My favorite room in the house|
|The beautiful vegetable garden|
And now, Oldman is slowly, gently, lovingly moving back into my life. And I have the clock time and mental time to be present for it. And I have the wide-open calendar to fill in with him, should I choose to do so.
But right now, I have some birds to watch.