I want to sleep on a screened in porch on a summer night with crickets chirping outside, in a white, cotton nightgown. I want to live like that.
And you know that movie Legends of the Fall with Brad Pitt out in Montana (no, not A River Runs Through It, but damn I love that movie too)? You know how they live on so much land that you can look in any direction and see only rolling mountains, and they bury their whole family, one at a time, on the little graveyard up on the hill? I want that, too. (The expanse of beautiful land part, not the tragic family death caused by moonshine and war part.)
I want to be engulfed by mountains so big I forget my own name in their presence. I want slow days spent lying on the hill, and exciting days spent breaking in wild horses and fighting off grizzly bears. I want to wear animal-hide jackets that I tanned myself - and swishy skirts and cowboy boots.
And you know that movie The Beach, where Leonardo DiCaprio stumbles upon that commune on an island off of Thailand? You know how they all just live there happily together, fishing and cooking and building and celebrating and growing and living, until that Swedish guy gets eaten by a shark and the majijuana growers come and shoot up the place and they all have to leave? I want that, too. (The island commune living happily together part, not the tragic shark accident/drug growing militia part.)
I want to live in a small community or village where the only things we do are directly related to our shared living - no separate workplaces, no traffic, no grocery stores, no structures that we didn't build with our own hands from the materials we found lying around us.
I have worked so hard over the past year untethering myself from all responsibility and obligation (financial, occupational, and relational), that come June, I will literally have no one expecting anything from me. I don't have to be anywhere at any time unless I choose to go there.
This is certainly exciting, and exactly what I have been waiting for. And when I have the whole world as a possible next step, how can I choose in which direction to go?
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