Note: Oldman can get stuck on one subject sometimes (usually something technical that puts me to sleep), and I call him Rainman when he does this. When I talked to him while he was on his way down to Louisiana, he went on and on about his great gas mileage, all Rainman-style. This is important background information for the following text conversation.
Oh, and also, Oldman is very shy, and doesn't like to talk to people too much. This is also important background information.
Me: Holy crap I got to work in 15 minutes!
Oldman: That's how long it takes to get to Hudson Trail Outfitters
Me: No, it takes four minutes to get to Hudson Trail
Oldman: At least 12 minutes.
Me: Well you're an old man so you drive slowly.
Oldman: Meh. I get great gas mileage.
Me: Ok, Rainman.
Oldman: Definitely. Definitely.
Me: Anyway, how is your day? What have you been doing?
Oldman: Taking care of the dog, unpacking, and playing that stupid RPG (role-playing game) on my phone.
Me: Maybe you could think of life as an RPG and it would help you interact with people. Think about gaining points as you build up friendships and connections.
Oldman: That sounds like a stupid game.
Me: Your face sounds like a stupid game.
Oldman: Yo' mamma. Oh SNAP!
Oldman: Yo momma is a wonderful woman is what I meant to say.
Me: Damn straight she is.
Me: But listen, about my RPG idea, I think it's also really important that you have it take place in 2012 because between your "Oh snap," your "yo momma" jokes, and your inescapable rainman-ness, you're a little stuck in the 90's. So then in your RPG, you could also earn points by learning culturally relevant slang.
Oldman: Whaaaat! Says you. The 80's called and wants their music back. AND your dancing.