"I was, in fact, homesick for wildness, and when I found it I knew how intimately - how resonantly - I belonged there. We are charged with this - all of us. For the human spirit has a primal allegiance to wildness, to really live, to snatch the fruit and suck it, to spill the juice." - Jay Griffiths, Wild: an Elemental Journey

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Standing Still. Finally, Still.

The main room in the hostel

Travelers' bodies drift in our doors
and out our windows.
They circle around me as I stand still -
They come from New York LA Oregon Oklahoma Boston Detroit.
They don't know me
and ask me for my story.
That same story. . .

"I'm from Pennsylvania but have been living
in the Maryland DC area for the past eight years
as a teacher and then a school principal and last year
I quit my job got rid of most of what I owned and
have been living out of my car traveling for six weeks
and now I'm here because I ran out of gas money and I 
love New Mexico I'm working and living at the hostel
and looking for a part time job in town
and writing a book
and cleaning out my body
and starting a new life
and again
and again."

Will I repeat the same story
to each weary, beautiful traveler
who drifts in through our doors
and out through our windows?

"Oh and I'm married.
Yes, married."

Right - then there's that.
That thing that I'm not really talking about.
But it is finding me here.
Everything will find me here
in this teeny tiny town
without even a post office.

My body has been here 
for four days 
and my spirit is slowly catching up -
swimming in behind me like a trail of mist
that I have been outrunning
for months.

I did an I-Ching reading 
last night.
It told me my purpose here is
and to learn from a great teacher.

So I find little nooks
away from all the travelers.
The back corner of the top floor,
by the lit-up Christmas tree.
The silent greenhouse
on a warm afternoon.
The hidden hammock
deep in the woods out back.

And I do my best to remember
who I am
and wait
for the purification
and for my teacher
to return.

The Rio Grande


  1. So did you ever figure out that YOU were the great teacher?

  2. Touche. Another friend made the same comment about this post on Facebook. I didn't agree at the time, but now that I am gone and after all that's happened between New Mexico and this day in California - yes. I am the teacher. The god in me, the divine, the light, whatever you want to call it. That part of my crown chakra that stretches up to the sky and reminds me that I can tap in to all that is good and eternal in the universe. THAT is my great teacher.